The journey into kink is a fraught one for most people. We live in environments and cultures that want sex and relationships to look a certain way, for whatever reason. Whether it is hedonistic or conservative, who we are and the desires we feel can sometimes mis-match completely. On a human level, introspectionally, we might […]
My new book Living Rope is out now! Available on Amazon and Kindle. GET YOUR COPY NOW! Living Rope explores the many facets of rope play, delving into the reasons and intentions of rope players, based on the author’s decade long experience. It also describes Dea Nexa’s approach to consent and relationships, and how identity […]
I’m so excited to announce the publication of my new book When She Leads. When She Leads is a book for anyone interested in or exploring female-led relationships and Femdom play. In this book, I explores common themes in the Femdom lifestyle and the impacts it has on our lives. Living or playing with the […]
The latest talk circulating on kink social media (in the US at least) is how a very influential ultra conservative content creator doxxed a kink event, which lead to the pulling of public funding for the LGBTQ Centre it was operating in. I’m not American, but I don’t think we have to be to feel […]
Like, really hurts most of the time. Some rope can be more decorative, kinda like a kinky fashion statement. But even that sort of rope carries risks and need careful negotiations to avoid harm. However, in the main, most people do rope to feel constrained, helpless and/or pain. Being held in rope, shifts the physche […]
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. No one should ever be pressured into an act or course of action. No one should be manipulated into being bound, hit, called names, dress a certain way, act a certain way, at all. Ever. Don’t do it. Without out consent, the freely given, enthusiastic, […]
There’s a difference between abuse and ethical kink practice: it’s consent and fun and fulfilment, carried out with respect and honesty. A controlling and dominating abuser operates by stripping away the autonomy of their partner because of deeply held insecurities or anger, causing immeasurable pain and suffering. Dominance and submission dynamics are based on equality […]
I have found there is a strong air of romanticism in some rope photography that I have seen. By romanticism, I do not mean the artistic period. I mean the feelings of romance and other worldliness of rope play, a step or two away from the reality of everyday life. Very often we see partially […]
One of the most challenging parts of running rope or kink based events is ensuring a degree of safety for the attendees and those working at our events. I have felt the pressure to conform to practices that have lead to people being harmed within the kink community and even at events themselves. I have […]
I often say that the difference between healthy kink and abuse is the presence of consent. In my Foundation classes and my books The Kink Embrace and New Bonds, I discuss the anatomy of consent because having this key knowledge is so important. We need to know what consent means to us and those we […]