It is the holy month of Ramadan at the time of this publication. As a practicing Muslim, I thought I would take some time to explore common myths people have of my religion.
Most people are taught to be frightened of Islam and Muslims, because it justifies actions by our governments in Muslim majority lands, so it is said. Such propaganda allows for the dehumanising of Muslim people. The narrative is that Islam is a backwards, oppressive religion that belongs on the dark ages. We’re told it’s misogynistic and homophobic, so they need Western intervention. When the truth is quite the opposite.
In our rope and alternative spaces, people from different backgrounds and faiths may join us. I do not think religion and kink are mutually exclusive. Different religions and cultures have different values, which you may or may not agree with. Some people are more conservative in how they play, and as a community we need to be mindful of the impact policies that may exclude religious communities. The queer community, like other communities, can be Islamophobic, so I thought I’d use my platform to ease those concerns.
Yes, there are a few Muslim majority countries with questionable human rights laws. But the vast majority of Muslim countries and Muslim people all around the world are in opposition to oppression, whether they can speak out freely about it or not. Not because we are following the Western narrative that capitalist democracy is superior to indigenous values, but because Islam does not allow the oppression of anyone within its foundations of jurisprudence.
So, allow me to break down some of these myths. I am not a scholar of Islam by any stretch of imagination, so I may be mistaken, but I do have some knowledge of its foundations and principles that I can comment on. Though others will disagree. Below I address a few common myths and provide evidences.
Myth #1: Islam teaches Muslims to hate queer people.
The problem with this stems from Christian theology, which teaches us in the story of Prophet Lot (peace be upon him) how his people were destroyed for being gay. But in Islamic teachings, his people were not destroyed only for being gay but for general sexual immorality and sexual violence. The Quran teaches us the Prophet Lot (peace be upon him) offered his daughters in marriage as a remedy to their sexual violence and persistent wrong-doing (or sin), which proved fruitless so they were destroyed. (Quran 29:31)
On a side note which might be worth mentioning, Islam views sin in a very different way to Christianity. Christianity teaches that Eve (peace be upon her) ate from the forbidden tree on heaven and so she and her husband Adam (peace be upon him) were banished as sinners, making us all sinners in need of the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ (peace be upon him) for salvation.
Islam is different. The Quran teaches us that Adam (peace be upon him) ate from the forbidden tree, God chastised him, Adam sought forgiveness and God (All praise be to Him) forgave him. The plan all along was to teach humans how to seek forgiveness. Adam and Eve were sent to Earth to dwell as was previously planned. It was all God’s plan. He gave us free will to choose and the ability to repent and improve ourselves. (Quran 29:31)
So, you see, we are taught in Islam to follow God’s guidance as best we can, to seek forgiveness for mistakes we will inevitably make, and to never to judge others or demean them for their mistakes. (Quran 49:11).
In the modern Western context, where queer rights are under threat from Christian nationalists, conflating those movements with wide range of Islamic movements would be unhelpful. Islam does not teach us to hate queer people, just as much as people who drink alcohol or gamble. It has strict rules on sexual activity, but it also recognises that people are not perfect and we will do as we choose.
Laws around punishment for sexual transgressions are aimed at anyone publicly engaging in sexual intercourse (not just sodomy). The punishment is only carried out if four eye witnesses stand up in court and say the saw the penetration, which is difficult to do, so has very very rarely been applied, and not at all at the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). The ruling was arguably to protect everyone from sexual exploitation, not to interfere in personal lives.
We should also consider the context that antibiotics, condoms and other barrier methods, contraception, DNA tests and medicine was far less advanced at the time of those rulings than today. Islam teaches cleanliness, but there is still limits cleanliness can provide against sexually transmitted infections. So, it could be argued that a ruling against sodomy and sex outside of marriage is a reflection of the social context it was in, and still is in some parts of the world.
Furthermore, in a narration of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), it is sometimes cited that he shunned a trans woman. But the story in full shows the opposite. We know that trans women and asexuals lived around the Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) wives as servants. One such servant spoke of their sexual attraction of women in graphic terms, and so the prophet forbade him from his home to protect the modesty of his wives. His wives complained that the person in question was very poor and asked to invite him for dinner once a week, which the prophet (pbuh) agreed to.
So, in effect, Islam recognizes that some people born with penises are feminine in nature, termed as mukhannath, and Islam does not condemn this. What it condemns is cis-men acting as women to access women spaces to exploit them. (Hadiths in Bukharin and An-Nawawi).
Interestingly, in Iran, a very conservatively religious country, they passed a law on the 1970’s allowing for sex change operations, on medical and ethical grounds to preserve trans people’s lives (Najmabadi, 2008: ibid).
The Ottoman empire was well known for it’s openness about sex and relationships, because Islam teaches us to not feel shame for having sexual urges, which shocked colonisers from Europe. (Source:The decline of homosexuality in the late Ottoman Empire. – The Historian https://search.app/yqtg5zF6pGJ1geG7A) Sex, in Islam should be pleasurable. Exploring pleasure is encouraged as it will strengthen marriages.
There are homophobic and transphobic Muslims that are affected by Christian cultural influences following colonisation by Europeans. I’m not denying that. But from first Islamic principles, Islam is very kind to queer people just as anyone else.
Myth #2: Islam oppresses women.
In the West, we hear of women being forced to cover their bodies, forced into marriage at a young age, limiting education and career progression. Again, nothing could be further from the truth, even if some very misguided Muslims do those things.
Islam continually throughout the Quran refers to men and women as equal souls with rights to safety and freedom. Women have the right to:
- vote, yes, 1400+ years ago, women were politically active and took administrative positions in governance. More recently, there have been many women leaders, Prime Ministers and Presidents in Muslim lands. (Source https://religionmediacentre.org.uk/factsheets/women-and-islam/)
- the right to their own wealth – where men are expected to spend their wealth on their family. The Prophet Muhammad’s first wife Khadijah (peace be upon her) was very wealthy, in fact.
- inheritance (Qur’an 4:11) – which is half the amount, but given the previous point acts in favour of women.
- the right to an education and work and to own their own businesses. The first university was built by a woman called Fatima al-Fihri, the University of al-Qarawiyyin, in 859 AD in Fez, Morocco
- the right to choose who they marry, not their family. (Sourcehttps://www.dar-alifta.org/en/article/details/126/the-right-of-a-woman-to-choose-her-husband ) The law says she must be physically, mentally and socially ready for marriage, which in most Muslim countries is around the age of 18.
- Some people cite the marriage of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to Aisha (may God be pleased with her) as her being only 9 years old when they married. The marriage was not seen as unusual at the time. Historical account suggest she was more likely closer to 18, or as Shia Muslims have suggested, probably 19. https://www.dawn.com/news/696084/ofaishas-age-at-marriage Either way, she chose to marry and stayed in the marriage until the death of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and is known as the greatest narrator of prophetic traditions and teachings.
- the right to divorce for bad treatment, lack of financial support, or even if her husband does not satisfy her sexually. A woman has the right to sexual gratification from her husband. And he should not harm her at all, especially during intimacy. (Quran, Surat Talaq, Sahih Bukharin book 63)
- domestic violence in forbidden. No Muslim should harm another person (Quran 33.58). The Prophet Muhammad never abused his wives. A verse in the 4th Chapter of the Qur’an is often used to justify abuse is often misinterpreted. In essence, of a husband has had suspicions and tried talking to her but then catches his wife sleeping with someone he is allowed to “strike her”, which normally means move away from her completely. Some say this could be a physical strike on the condition that it does not cause pain bruising or humiliation, so not a beating at all as some incorrectly think. Equally, a person experiencing domestic abuse has an obligation to leave that marriage in Islam, when it is safe for her to do so.
Myth #3: Islam is a violent religion that forces people to convert.
Again, it’s the exact opposite. God says there is no compulsion in religion (Quran 2:285) and as explained previously, Islam recognises the free will of individuals, even though God knows what we will do anyway (equivalent to the compatibilist arguement, though some debate still occurs on this amongst scholars).
People have the misconception that Islam spread by the sword. This again is not entirely true nor fairly representative of Islamic guidance. As Muslims spread the word of Islam to other parts of the world, they sometimes faced resistance. The Muslim ruler would send invitations to leaders of other tribes, and ask for permission to spread the word on the land. If the leaders sent out armies to stop Muslims from preaching in their lands (which they would because they wanted control over their people), Muslims were allowed to fight in self defence. God says in the Quran 2:190: “Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loveth not transgressors”.
Furthermore, Islam forbids the killing of non-combatants, the burning down of building and cutting down of trees at times of war. The spread of Islam was not to take land and exploit resources (as other colonisers have done), but to help that nation thrive and liberate people from oppression and corruption. Islam protected the other religions in it’s realm. Islam spread because people wanted it. Islam spread and became part of the local culture, which is why we see so many hues of Islam and Muslims around the world.
Everyone’s God-given human dignity must be respected, regardless of his or her faith, race, ethnic origin, gender, or social status (Quran 17:70). One of my personal favourite verses in the Quran is Surat 49, verse 13 states that Allah “created humans into nations and tribes so that they may know each other. Verily, the most noble of you to Allah is the most righteous of you”. Islam is very inclusive like that!
Final thoughts
Islam wants you to enjoy sex and pleasure. The ruling of marriage might be alien to you, old fashioned or outdated, but hopefully to you can appreciate that queerness and kinkiness is not incompatible with Islam.
In modern Western democracies, it’s easy to lose sight of the history and depth of knowledge of religions and cultures in other parts of the world. There are good and bad people and practices in all religions and nations. I hope this writing can help dispell myths that Islam is something to fear and Muslims cannot contribute to modern society. The opposite, again, is true. A person acting from Islamic principles of kindness, inclusion, justice and freedom, who wants to benefit others and the land they live in, are worth having around.
We all, Muslims and non-Muslims, need to learn to separate the cultural influences that are misogynistic, racist, homophobic from what Islam actually teaches. And, as more and more people embrace Islam in the West and all around the world, finding liberation and love in the words of God and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), hopefully you will see there is nothing to worry about. If you come across something that sounds off, ask around rather than assume.
These opinions are my own. There will be Muslims that disagree with me on the analysis I have provided and have other credible sources for their opinions, but that’s okay. We are allowed to disagree and discuss different perspectives based on texts and modern day challenges we face. My knowledge is limited and mistakes are mine, may Allah forgive me if that is the case. If we have the intention to help others and please God in our actions to bring peace, I am sure good things will happen. Allah knows best and all good comes from Him.
Image is a self tied decorative arm gauntlet by Dea Nexa, with hands decorated with henna tattoos.