Occasionally, there is scene drama and someone is accusing someone of abuse. And then the other person says they are the victim. So, people don’t know what to do and keep quiet. And the abuser gets away with it, again. It’s not good enough… Something to consider is that an abuser will shift blame and […]
People engage in rope play for many reasons, which I explore in my book Living Rope. People enjoy binding others or being bound, and this often rests on cultural interpretations of this taboo. Shibari is the term for Japanese style rope, which is rooted within its own cultural context. We should, therefore, be careful with […]
Over the last decade of working within rope and kink spaces, the issue of consent is unanimously agreed upon, but the nuances less so. One of the common debates around consent is what, if anything, can be done in public where people who you do not know or have not been involved in the negotiation […]
Rope is a drug. It’s addictive. It’s mind altering, and can reveal hidden truths about yourself. It can tap into parts of your brain otherwise unexplored, show you what is possible and what you are capable of. As a rope top or rope bottom your biochemistry changes in rope. Adrenaline, cortisol, endorphins are released into […]
Whilst running rope events, we will inevitably come across dangerous people wanting to access our spaces. Whether in person or online, we need to set clear rules on conduct, and at the same time communicate openly your willingness to ban such people from your event. You’d think it would be that straight forward. But, sadly, […]
Perhaps it’s because I’m in my 50s, or maybe it’s my chronic health conditions and disability, or the changes in the political arena, but I have felt a huge shift in myself in the last year. The hedonism of my 40’s has passed. My body’s changes invites new perspectives and needs. I no longer want […]
Living with long covid is not easy. It has disabled me and has drastically affected the rope play I can do. Self suspension is particularly challenging, since I’m in charge of all the planning and mitigation and self suspension is very demanding on my body. With some ideas from some fantastic self tiers in an […]
This year, as part of my battle with Long Covid, my hand function has deteriorated. COVID19 initially attacked my heart and central nervous system and I am left moderately to severely disabled. So for a few years, I have not been able to do basic things and the things I love as much as I […]
My new book Living Rope is out now! Available on Amazon and Kindle. GET YOUR COPY NOW! Living Rope explores the many facets of rope play, delving into the reasons and intentions of rope players, based on the author’s decade long experience. It also describes Dea Nexa’s approach to consent and relationships, and how identity […]
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. No one should ever be pressured into an act or course of action. No one should be manipulated into being bound, hit, called names, dress a certain way, act a certain way, at all. Ever. Don’t do it. Without out consent, the freely given, enthusiastic, […]